Swimming lane designation as a measure of self-esteem

I am not a speed demon at all by any means, but I do usually swim faster than average people in the slow lane and the middle lane, so I usually swim in the fast lane.

I noticed a very interesting phenomenon lately, though – there are always more people in the fast lane than the slow lane, and people in the fast lane are generally slower than those in the slow lane.

6 people in the fast lane, no one in the slow lane! I was quite amazed back then, but got used to it now.

Very annoying. I go to the pool early most of the time nowadays, so I usually get to claim the fast lane for myself. And then, someone else would come, and dive into my lane, when we are the only 2 people in the pool! Worse still, they would usually start breaststroke-ing (or froggy-style, you chinese people =P), with super-wide (and ugly) kicks. Sometimes, when I feel like it, I pass them from UNDER. That must’ve scared the hell out of them =D.

I guess no one wants to admit they are slow. Speeds are relative (at nonrelativistic speeds!) afterall. There are only 2 types of people who would go to slow lane. 1) 90+ years olds walking on floating noodles, and 2) people who REALLY DO swim fast.

Where am I? That arrogant bastard. Obviously.


The United Nations posed a question for kids from around the world to answer. No one answered, because no one could apprehend the question in its entirety.

This question is – “What do you think about the problem of food shortage in other countries?”

African kids don’t know the meaning of “food”.

European kids don’t know the meaning of “shortage”.

American kids don’t know the meaning of “other countries”.

Asian kids don’t know the meaning of “What do you think”.


Delicious sarcasm :D.

It’s from my bedtime reading. A book by 吳淡如, a famous Taiwanese writer + talk show host. Translated by your’s truly.